What Say You?

Would you rather do all the laundry or workout for an hour?

This Isn't Me...What Did You Do With Me?

First of all, this post is mostly for me, but I thought I'd share it since I haven't written for awhile and I may need some (more) accountability. If you're looking for something light and fun for your Friday afternoon, you may want to hold off on this one. You've been forewarned (don't say I didn't tell you so!)

This week has been a bit of a challenge. First, one of my children used inappropriate language. Without going into detail, I think this puts me out of the Parent of the Year award. And, if that doesn't, then the emotional break down I had earlier today will seal the deal. Not to mention the load of guilt I've put on myself for lack of friends, lack of funds, lack of neighbor kids, lack of space in the house, etc., etc., etc. Thankfully, my mood swing switched back to almost-normal a few minutes ago, so the remainder of the evening should (might) be safe.

What I wonder now is where in the world the "real" me went. There was a time (please, someone who decided to keep reading and knows me well enough get my back on this!) that I could hold my own. I taught full-time, ran a part-time business (pretty successfully, I might add), kept a relatively clean house (it is relative, you know...), cooked, came up with clever gifts and at least seemed sane. If you're aware of her whereabouts, please contact me and let me know where I might find her. I need her back.

A friend related today that, when her husband asked what they were having for dinner, she grabbed him, told the kids they'd be back in an hour and went to the nearest restaurant to have a drink and take home carryout. I was envious because she can leave her kids at home and have that conversation. It's nearly impossible here - my daughter has a sixth sense as to when others are talking about sensitive topics - and she actually materializes out of nowhere when you least expect it. Other than trying to keep on your toes for that, her actions are seriously disconcerting.

So there's a woman out there who needs to find herself - me. I need to find the woman who was able to...

• Stay healthy - exercise, eat right, and take care of her body
• Produce worthwhile efforts in teaching/income earning
• Keep a social calendar (Hello? Where are my friends lately? I need some FUN!)
• Develop a Catholic identity and be faithful.
• Feel confident in her choices.
• Enjoy the moment and even (gasp) be a bit spontaneous!

There's more, but I think it's time to go have dinner and grab a beer (or margarita, or glass of wine, or Bailey's on ice, or...) and call it an evening. When you see me, please feel free to let me know I've been found!

Reality or Expectation?

The other day a colleague mentioned that I was easily provoked and that was why it was so much fun to pick on me. My initial reaction was (of course) frustrated astonishment. I can't say I was actually offended, but I was taken back by her poignant observation. Then I began to really think about her comment as I returned to my office. Am I really that easily provoked intrinsically, or do I respond to provocation as a result of expectation?

In other words, do I respond to provocation easily because that's what people expect of me? What would happen if others weren't able to "get a rise" out of me? Would they be disappointed and move on and would I find that regrettable because that seems to be my "claim to fame" or modus operandi? Intrinsic or conditioned response?

Admittedly, I have always been pretty easy to pick on. Call it lack of self-assurance, low self-esteem or any other psycho babble you want. When kids picked on me in grade school, it was well worth their time. My reactions were dramatic and lengthy and it seemed I wasn't able to control them. Ask anyone in my family and they'll happily relate at least one example. Probably several. These days, I still react to provocation - but it's different. Now when I'm provoked, I often recognize the motive of my inciter and actually choose to respond in kind. In that moment, I know that he or she is looking for a reaction and I give it to them. I hate to disappoint.

Thus the question: Is my quick-tempered reaction reality or is it a result of conditioned response?

THEN I got to thinking about my students. Are their reactions intrinsic or are they, too, simply a result of expectation? Oftentimes we expect that they'll forget to do their homework or fall short of the quality we "expect". But do we really expect that quality or do we ask for it and hope they get close? 

Shoot for the moon and if you miss, you'll still be among the stars. ~Les Brown 

I've heard this quote a thousand times and always wondered about it. Does it really encourage or simply say "just try - we don't really expect you to reach the moon"? When we expect success, we are more likely to experience it. The expectation is that you do your personal best each time. I've been expecting the wrong reaction. Instead of expecting failure, I need to expect perfection. We've been adjusting our proverbial bar over and over and it seems to be drooping. Just like my character when I react to provocation because others expect me to. Wrong direction.


Maybe my reaction is intrinsic. We joke in my family that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I have two children who are much like their mother, who is much like her mother, who is much like her mother...I'll need to look into who gets the blame for that gene.


In the end, whether it's intrinsic or not, I don't want it to define me. Call it a personality hiccup. Call it a genetic glitch. But don't say it to my face. It's hard telling what I'll say in return.

 

What To Do...

Call it Spring Fever or Senioritis (for teachers...Teacheritis?!). Whatever it is, I need a break. Yes, spring break was just a couple of weeks ago, but I didn't really take a break. What I really could use is two or three days of complete silence, no responsibility and absolute pampering. Add in some spirituality and I'd be as close to heaven as I can get at this point (still breathing, sins and all...).


What do you do? I've heard friends mention a night at a hotel or a retreat somewhere. I don't have a lot of cash, but I could scrounge up some if I knew it'd really be worth it. I need the time to regroup and refresh. Believe me, it's for the best for everyone involved. You know the saying, "If Momma ain't happy, ain't noboby happy!"


I'm starting a search for the good of the community...

A Simple Thank You to Pinterest...

Thank you, Pinterest, for the wealth of creative ideas you provide my already overwhelmed mind. Thank you, especially, for the option of sorting said ideas into boards so I can find the things I liked two weeks ago and now have time to consider. In all seriousness, I am truly grateful - I've had a lot of fun the past few weeks and I have Pinterest posts to thank...


...for the idea to wrap embroidery floss dipped in glue around balloons to make Easter eggs.

...for the suggestion of making Hot Cross Buns for Good Friday - I've worked with yeast twice now. And done so successfully!


...for the photo of resurrection rolls - I found an easy recipe and the kids thought they rocked!

...for the Peeps S'mores idea. Even though the link actually lead to multiple online ads (grr), I was able to come up with a label and the tiny gifts were happily received by all.


...for the salt dough jewelry "recipe" - I made necklaces for a few girlfriends and they looked pretty cool...I'll be sure to try it again.

...the many, many ideas for toilet paper rolls. I've made them for gift wrap - even an owl!











...the graduated-color pink layered cake photo. Mine did NOT look like the photo, but its recipient was happy to enjoy it anyway.






and...somewhere to dream. And dream big. 


What do YOU use Pinterest for?

Shopping...Just the Girls

I've shopped for dresses many times with my daughter. But, until today, I'd never let her have much say in the final decision. She's only nine and a half and I'm doing my darnedest to keep her "young" as long as I can.

As we browsed the Easter dresses at Kohl's today, I held my breath as she wandered from rack to rack and asked what I thought of different styles. I'm proud to say that she steered clear of the one-shoulder look, the sequined bodice look and the "They seriously want $60 for this much material?!" dresses. Whew.

We took six dresses into the dressing room and I helped her try on each one. She'd spin around and look in the mirror. Her level of satisfaction was clear - she gets her Mamma's honesty honestly...The first one she tried on ended up the winner by a landslide (have you been into a remodeled Kohl's dressing room? SO fun! They have three hooks to sort your hangers: "Like It", "Love It", and "Back on the Rack"...). She looks adorable in this cute little number and I can't wait to do her hair up in curls for Easter Sunday services. If you have a girly girl, you know what I'm talking about - it's like having a life-size doll to play with!

Any-who, I'm glad we shipped her little brother off to a friend's house and went on our own. It was fun and we spent a couple of happy hours together. What a treat!

 

The Reverence of Good Friday...

Good Friday. To be perfectly honest, it's my least favorite day of the church calendar. It's uncomfortable, mournful, and a poignant reminder to Christians that Jesus gave His life so that our sins could be forgiven. As a child, I was actually fearful of the Good Friday services we attended when school was out for its observance. As a young adult, I taught in public schools, so my job "kept" me from participating in the ceremonies of Good Friday.

As an adult and more importantly, parent, my desire to develop the reverence of Catholic ceremonies is a passionate one. When others hear me share my thoughts about Good Friday, they may even think I'm excessive - holier than thou...Bear with me here...there is a reason.

Because I am the first one to admit that my knowledge of the basics of my faith is imperfect, I often seek other resources. Because I'm oftentimes limited on "free" time, I prefer online resources. One I routinely revisit is Catholic.org (this link is specific to Good Friday resources). 

According to the "rules", any Catholic between the ages of 14 to death need to abstain from eating meat on Fridays during Lent and on Ash Wednesday. Catholics aged 18 to 59 are asked to fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. Fasting means "to reduce the amount of food eaten from normal."* So, on Good Friday, even though my children are not yet 14 or 18 (they are, instead, 6 and 9), we'll be abstaining from meat and eating lighter meals. That's just the start, though.

The blessing of attending and working in a Catholic school includes an early dismissal on Good Friday. There are two basic ways to view this - Woohoo! Free afternoon for fun and play! Or, Okay, this is an opportunity to participate in Good Friday observances. (I don't really have to tell you which direction we're headed...)

In addition to a very quiet, no TV, no computer, no Wii, no DS afternoon, we'll take a few ideas from the Catholic.org article and put them to use ~ and maybe even develop a few traditions of our own...

• Hot-Cross Buns ~ any excuse to be creative is a welcome invitation to me. I haven't made them yet, but here's a recipe from Allrecipes.com.
• Observance of The Three Hours (see above for what we won't be doing...)
• Planting of Seeds ~ The kids will actually enjoy this, so it will be a positive way to demonstrate some symbolism.
• Attendance at Good Friday services. 

If you'd like to join us in our observance, you are welcome to do so. It is my prayer that we all choose the solemn observance of Good Friday instead of the Woohoo! Free afternoon...

One more thing ~ is there anything else you'll be doing on Friday in observance? I'd love to hear about it!

*Fasting and Abstinence